Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
being pregnant is like rehab
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize