So drunk, too bad you don't want this
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
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