Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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