he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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