Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
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Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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