Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
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Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I look like I just got gang banged and I'm wearing a Taylor swift t shirt. It's not gonna be a pretty breakfast.
wearing my old cheerleader outfit to the bar was a great way to get free drinks. i should do this more often
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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