I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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