I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
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Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
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My glasses were in the garbage this morning
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
God I need to hump something, right now.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
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