her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
Girl behind me in line at CVS was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan B soon she might be a mom and that if we couldn't tell she'd be a horrible mom
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
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