Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
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He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
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I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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