Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
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