the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'm sports announcer narrating myself making a sandwich. Your weed wins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize