He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I wish there was a classy way to show off your boobs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
The lady at Walgreens was all excited my pregnancy tests had a coupon.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
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