Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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