i don't like sucking hair
eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
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