Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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