wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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