Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
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Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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