just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
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