so i stopped by cvs on the way home this morning, turns out hallmark doesnt make an im sorry my friend puked on your friend card, call me if were still speaking
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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