bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
Randomize