i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
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