the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
Randomize