My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
Randomize