ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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