I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
Randomize