One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize