Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
Burger king has cupcake flavored milkshakes. God dammit America.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
I'm getting paid to get fucked up. How much better could this get?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
Randomize