I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize