Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize