So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Eric was just sitting there open-mouthed swallowing sake from that squirt bottle for so long the lady across from us leaned over to her kid and told him not to end up like "the big alcoholic one"
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
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