Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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