birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need some magic done to my vagina
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize