You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
So I'm driving and this guy next to me at the stop light is reving his engine and honking at me. Motherfucker thinks that's because I'm asian and drive a honda I'm automatically going to race him
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize