The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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