Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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