Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
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sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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