am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize