the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
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