it's too hot outside to masturbate.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
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