I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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