Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
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