If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night someone asked you what your favorite color was and you said "bagel."
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
I JUST WANT TO SIT IN MY UNDERWEAR AND WATCH THE BRAVES GAME AND NOT BE CONSTRAINED BY MY ED SHEERAN SHORTS
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
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