You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hungover/still slightly drunk at work. Opened a bag of cheese with a box cutter. Pretty sure I need stitches.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
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