cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I'm at about main and main street
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize