Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
Pls stop me from telling anyone else my broken blood-vessel + splint are "climax-related" injuries.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
Randomize