Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
Binging muscle relaxers because when ur 33 you can no longer SHAKE IT LIKE A POLAROID PICTURE for 2hrs w/o consequences. Fuck you, Age.
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
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