My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
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the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
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He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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