Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
We woke up in an inflatable kiddie pool full of both empty and full beer cans. In the middle of his dad's office. Oh, and we were locked in. Nobody remembers.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
Randomize