Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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